Loyalty in Sport: A Debt Owed or a Path Blocked
Photo by Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images
You often hear fighters and coaches speak of loyalty. Usually, this is referring to a fighter and one of either a coach, a team, or a manager pair, and their ability to stick together throughout a career amidst highs and lows. Fighters are branded as disloyal if they change managers, teams, coaches, etc. They’re seen as not sufficiently appreciative of the work and people who have helped them get to where they are. In this article, I want to explore the concept of loyalty in sports, draw on my own experience and the experience of others, and generally figure out when issues arise and what the best way to handle these situations may be.
What is loyalty? It’s generally understood as allegiance or faithfulness to a person, institution, or cause, but is that loyalty required in perpetuity? Can you be loyal and then not, or were you just always disloyal? What about multiple loyalties? If there is some kind of conflict between them, and you choose one over another, are you disloyal to what you chose against? Under these conditions, is it even possible to be truly loyal to more than one thing? Is loyalty a one or two-way street?
Frankly, I think the premise of the debate is misguided and a relic of old timey martial arts mysticism BS. From a time where disciples followed their master and all his ways, completely subservient to his tutelage to attain the skill and respect they possess from the student’s perspective. Cue images of kneeling before Pai Mei in the face of his insults. This picture is, quite obviously, not nearly as relevant to a modern athletics perspective, especially when considering that the whole concept of the sport of MMA is combining effective pieces of many different arts.
These relationships exist in the manner they do because both sides see value in that relationship.
The Interpersonal Relationships of MMA
Managers speak with promoters and advocate for higher pay and publicity while negotiating contracts, always keeping an eye out for good opportunities to hopefully help guide their fighter to the upper echelons of the sport - for the benefit of both parties. In the meantime, they can also help the fighter make some extra income by getting sponsorship deals, again for the benefit of both, as they’re generally working off commissions.
Teammates show up consistently to train as a part of a group, sharpening each other’s games by continually learning and adapting to their partner’s moves and abilities. When one is in specific preparation for a competition, teammates de-prioritize their own training goals and tailor the training around what is best for the competitor. It is generally understood that this treatment will be reciprocated when the time comes for others to compete. That is why consistency is so important. If you only show up when you’re prepping for your own competitions, you aren’t helping as much as you are being helped. Having a strong team mentality, where “we’re all in this together” is the prevailing energy in the room, is a huge advantage (and one I want to explore in a separate piece).
Coaches structure the training and help guide the development of their students, competitors or not. They make their money from collecting gym membership fees, a set or percentage based fee after competitions, a voluntary give back system (if they are well off enough), or can simply benefit from the success and stature of their students on its own. The professional martial artist can be the product they are advertising. “Look at the skills and techniques they can display. Do you want to learn how to do that? Look at the level of fitness they’ve achieved. Do you want that?”
Coaches can be protective of their teachings, or insecure about what their students could potentially find elsewhere, or both. No coach knows everything and no single coach is the best coach for everyone. It’s always a meeting of minds. A coach who is comfortable in what he doesn’t know or can’t offer can be open to collaboration with others, or they can try and remain isolated and protective. They may be interested in keeping what they view as their fair share of credit and money, while maintaining the trajectory of their fighter.
Fighters show up to training consistently, always acquiring new knowledge and refining techniques, tactics, fitness, etc. They are obligated to prepare for competitions to the best of their ability, make the agreed upon weight, and represent themselves and the entirety of the group of people that help them in any and all capacities.
None of these pieces, however, should be viewed in isolation. A fighter who is consistently putting in a lot of effort, sees the development of their skills and abilities relative to others - both teammates and competitors. They are acutely aware of where they are successful and where they are not. They are aware of the team’s general success, or not.
Time for Change
What happens when a fighter thinks they needs some different ideas, or at least to explore other approaches - but the coach isn’t comfortable allowing them to stray, for whatever reasons. Should you always bend to the will of the coach? Who is being disloyal to whom?
Personally, I am incapable of not exploring options if I’m even slightly curious. Restricting myself in that way would cause me so much doubt and hurt the relationship on its own. Throughout my career, I’ve consistently trained at many different gyms and with many coaches and training partners, across two countries. I’ve competed against people I’ve trained with, cornered by coaches I trained under. I believe I have a strong, loving relationship with almost all of them, but I’ve also encountered some pretty serious criticism - followed by corresponding falling outs, which did break my heart.
So, I’m rambling about this issue and hopefully convincing those who weren’t already, that it is at least a complicated issue where different people have different needs, wants, and perspectives.
My answer to this dilemma is pretty simple. Loyalty is the wrong framework to view these issues through. No one owes allegiance to anyone. It’s a relationship and like all solid relationships it must be grounded in honesty. You can’t be everything to someone and they also cannot be for you. Don’t be afraid that you might need more help than you are currently receiving. Don’t be afraid that you don’t have all the answers. No one does. Be honest about what you want and need. Always try to collaborate and don’t leave people behind. Work with others and not against them. Be sure everyone involved is aware of the value they hold in your life.
Even after this, you may still disagree and maintain different perspectives, and possibly end up parting ways. However, you can take comfort in the fact that you were both open and honest, at least proposed a collaborative effort, and made sure everyone understood the value you have brought to each others’ lives.
All in all, team work does in fact make the dream work, but the team may not always be the same. Welcome additions can benefit everyone involved, or restrictive practices can create tension and doubt in the entire process of athletic development and career trajectory. Unsurprisingly, honestly and open communication are the best remedies even if, in the end, you must agree to disagree…